Meet Claire McDonald Ratzenberger. She’s thirty-five, and has been separated from her husband, Ron, for a year. She works in human resources at Bella Donna Press, a faltering publishing company in Richmond, VA – known for cookbooks and sweet, clean romances. She dreams of doing something more meaningful, but she’s in a bit of a rut.
Claire, a native New Yorker, is quirky, outspoken, naïve and prone to poor decision-making. She loves her loyal friends and family, but is completely clueless when it comes to finding a man. She met Ron in high school, and after several miscarriages and a hysterectomy a year ago, she had enough of his insensitivity! Happy to be free, she’s a little confused about how to go about finding someone new. She’s trying to avoid online dating at all costs, but blind dates aren’t exactly doing it for her, either.
She has no idea that we’re laughing so hard at her plight, but she gets herself into the craziest situations!
You can read all about her antics in Dazed & Divorced, Book 1 in the Rom-Com on the Edge series.
1. Chips, chocolate or cheese?
They all sound good, but not together. And really, cheese is only good melted. And I don’t really like chips all that much. So probably chocolate.
2. Bridget Jones, Becky Bloomwood or Carrie Bradshaw?
I love Carrie! Growing up in the suburbs of New York City, I always dreamed of living in Manhattan with a glamorous job as a writer. Instead I married my high school sweetheart and moved to Virginia because New York is too expensive. But I’m not bitter.
3. Wine, beer or vodka?
I would say wine, but it gives me a massive headache. Vodka is for professional drinkers, and beer reminds me of pee. I know, I’m a terrible Irish girl. I actually would rather have a fruity cocktail, but beware the Pina Colada! It sneaks up on you.
4. Camping or spa vacation?
When I was married to Ron, I refused to go camping, and he would never agree to a solo spa trip for me. Now that I’m single, I am saving up for at least a weekend of pampering. Who the hell wants to pee in the words and sleep with bugs?
5. Water or mountains?
I love the water, but I’m terrified of it. I know – not a good combo. I can’t swim. I blame my parents for not making me learn, and giving in to my every whim. Mountains are boring.
6. Zombies or vampires?
They are both gross and dumb, but I would pick vampires over zombies. That sound they make is disgusting. It’s like they are getting ready to throw up for all eternity. Of course they eat brains…
7. Dogs or cats?
Puppies! I really want a wiener dog, but I don’t know. It’s big step. I need to redirect my maternal instinct, but that makes me sad all over again. Cats and zombies are in the same category for me. Except I know cats don’t eat brains. But if they could…
8. Coke or Pepsi?
Either one is okay, but I prefer Coke. I shake like a junky if I don’t get any. Wait, is my mother reading this? How about my doctor? If so, I like water.
9. Coffee or tea?
Neither. I hate hot drinks. I am too impatient and I always burn my mouth. Then I can’t talk properly for hours. And I like to talk. A lot.
10. Dine out or take away?
I would rather eat at home, so I will pick take away. Of course, it depends if I am on a date or not. Dining out can be fun if you’re not staring at some guy and trying to figure out where in your life you went wrong.
11. High heels, sneakers or flip flops?
Sneakers are only for exercising, so mine have a thick layer of dust on them in the closet. Or maybe they’re in the trunk of my car. Who knows! I will throw on flip flops in the summer, but I truly adore high heels. I just don’t wear them to work because I can be a tad bit unstable in them.
12. Physical Book or ebook?
I love to hold a physical book! My stupid husband, Ron gave me all sorts of grief when I read a book. Can you imagine? Maybe if he read a book occasionally he wouldn’t be such a… oh, there I go again. I am completely over Ron, so I don’t know why I keep getting so mad. Do other people get mad when you ask these questions?
13. Drama or comedy?
I like both. My favorite movies are My Cousin Vinny, Jerry Maguire and Love & Other Drugs. Nothing blows up and no one is murdered. Well, except the clerk at the Sack o’ Suds.
14. Twilight or Hunger Games?
I know nothing about either one. I feel out of the loop, but I hate shows full of good-looking, young people.
15. Lipstick, lipgloss or chapstick?
Lipstick all the way. Gloss is for teenaged girls and women who enjoy getting their hair stuck to their lips every time the wind blows. Chapstick is for children, men and nuns.
16. Facebook or Twitter?
I do Facebook, but I don’t have much to post. I hate to be negative to the world, and between Ron, my infertility, my boring job and my bad luck with men – I am kind of a downer. I do enjoy other people’s posts, especially the puppies. But then there are always babies, and that makes me sad, too. I am clueless with Twitter. I have no time to write clever, short phrases to strangers. I have enough weird ‘followers’ in real life. Wait until you read about the men I’ve been meeting…
A special thanks to the ladies at Novel Escapes for their funny and thought-provoking interview questions. You can check out their blog, and my author interview here: